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TIPS FOR BEING A BETTER DAD
Posted on 14th Apr 2010 @ 10:07 AM
Tips for Being a Better Dad
As Father’s Day approaches you may be thinking about your role as a Dad. Parenting is one of the few jobs where everything is on the job training and mistakes are inevitable. Gone are the days when Mom was home all the time and did 99% of all the work of raising the children. It’s a new day. Both Mom and Dad, whether they have outside jobs or not, are expected to do their share of both the fun and not so fun tasks involved in raising kids.
Parenting is a learned skill. If you were lucky enough to have a father or father figure who did a great job, you are one of the lucky ones. Many Dads have to embark upon the fathering adventure with less than wonderful memories of their relationship with their own dad. Either way, it’s a challenging role and requires dedication, commitment and a sense of humor as well. Here are some tips to encourage and inspire you to be the best dad in the world.
1) Being a father is a big job. Be prepared to make some mistakes along the way.
Don’t demand perfection of either your children or yourself and learn to say
those two magic words, “I’m sorry.”
2) Parenting roles are all about love. Love the children and love their Mom in a
way that is visible to the children. Treat her with respect and work as a team
when it comes to setting boundaries for the kids.
3) Make it a habit to speak in positive ways to your children. Honest praise,
encouraging words and offers to help with problems are the building blocks
of trust in relationships.
4) Have fun together. Sure, there’s a lot of work to do and you’re busy, but take
some time to play together. Kids will remember those times for many years
to come.
5) Believe in your children. Of course they aren’t perfect, but each child has
unique skills, abilities and personalities. Treasure each child as a gift.
6) Whether you like it or not, you are the role model your children will have
when it comes to fathering. Behave in ways that you want your kids to follow.
7) Don’t try to weasel out of doing your fair share of the hard things. Dads used
to get away with “learned helplessness” when it came to night feedings,
changing dirty diapers, bathing and dressing, etc. Don’t be one of those.
8) Give children the opportunity to make some decisions. Start with small things
and work up to bigger decisions. You want children who can make good
choices when they face the big world on their own.
9) Set reasonable limits and stick to them. In this world of “anything goes” kids
become confused and frustrated when their own family fails to help them to
know right from wrong.
10) Teach your children to be themselves. Help them develop the skills and
abilities they have inside. It’s fine to offer a wide variety of activities when
they’re young, but let them gravitate toward their strengths and cheer them
on as they grow and mature.
Balancing work and family is a challenge for all parents. There will be days when you fail to spend quality time with the family, but don’t let there be too many of those. Often parenting requires the choice of putting the children’s needs ahead of your own interests. Play together, work together, laugh and enjoy life together. Carve out family time and don’t let the world intrude on it. The years when you are raising children seem long at the time, but they fly by. Before you know it your sons and daughters are grown and trying to learn how to parent themselves. Be a great dad—it’s worth the effort.
For some good books of being a great father see:
The Good Father by Mark O’Connell at
http://www.booksamillion.com/product/9780743258012
Always Dad: Being a Great Father During and After Divorce by Paul Mandelstein at
http://www.nolo.com/products/always-dad-DIFA.html
On Being a Good Dad: Growing as a Provider, Mentor and Friend by Len Kageler at